


Homemade Kryptonite

by Cas_203



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other, Spoken Word, This is completely honest, it's very scary to put this on here?, its spoken word and a free verse really, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 13:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12458625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_203/pseuds/Cas_203
Summary: This is one of the reallest things I've written, and maybe that's why it hurts.I still love him, despite all this.





	Homemade Kryptonite

**Author's Note:**

> Hi- so this is like a free verse and a spoken word thing in one. I was just feeling really... Sad? I guess. And I just vented what I felt onto this.

It starts with a whisper  
He's a gentle breeze filled with quiet crescendos of my anxiety and fear  
That fills me and my body  
With an ideal that I'm ugly and worthless  
That my poems are emo and so last year  
That the cries in my head that don't exist  
Don't exist 

It starts with a whisper and it builds into an alarm  
That tells me I would be alone if it weren't for moral obligation that says  
To be friends and to make friends  
Should be our final destination  
Because if it isn't then we're all dying alone and scared

But I find it in me to reply sometimes  
All of the times, in my head  
That if I was and if I am alive and well  
With the people around me just pretending to know who I am  
Then I'd much rather choose to be dead 

It starts with a whisper turned into an alarm turned into a crash  
He fills me with haunting lies that- like me-no doubt would make you scream  
That it wasn't fair  
That you were the one the metaphorical devil chose to haunt  
It's a mixed drink filled with lyrics of broken dreams  
And I've been there and I've felt it... And it's really as scary as is written

It starts with a whisper turned into an alarm turned into a crash turned into trepidation  
Which was already there but never acknowledged  
So I sit and I sat with my head in my broken hands  
Like I could catch the dreams leaking out of my mind  
Hell, that was as likely as me getting into a good college  
Because smart and clever had two different definitions  
And I've always been told you have to be both to do  
Anything

And I'll never find if in me to reply to that  
Never meaning not even in my sleep  
Because to him it's never really been said  
He says things he doesn't mean but maybe he does  
And he forgets that I am capable of reading between his lines  
After all  
I've been trying to be like him since the first time he reluctantly yet willingly showed me to my kindergarten class in this terrifying building of older boys and girls  
Like the superhero he was supposed to be  
Despite having been mislead

It starts with a whisper turned into an alarm turned into a crash turned into trepidation turned into desperation  
Because I crave the comfort I see him give others  
And I thought I was worth more than heated glances  
That showed nothing but anger and disappointment  
Sometimes I feel like I'm less than the bruised and wilted flowers  
That they show in horror movies  
That I used to be afraid to see all alone without someone there

It starts with a whisper turned into an alarm turned into a crash turned into trepidation turned into desperation turned into complete silence  
That I'm sure he doesn't notice since he's half blind most days  
It's a white flag of defeat because his words  
They put all my pleas to rest since I can't fight this thing  
Because this thing is something that shouldn't be there  
Because all that should be there is hisnon-existent reassuring gaze  
So I hold my flag up high and he still doesn't see

And I've said something about that  
I literally just did  
And maybe someday I'll say it to his face  
And his eyes won't be pools of lava but rather  
They'd be oceans of warmth  
And maybe he'll let me be held by him  
Because I've just realised I've forgotten what that feels like  
And it hurts all the more that I can't remember the last time  
That he chased away my fears with his homemade kryptonite  
That I've always believed all brothers have


End file.
